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Helping yourself to grieve

  • Take your own feelings seriously.
  • Accidents are more common after serious loss.
  • Do drive more carefully.
  • Be more careful around the home.
  • When someone offers to help you with something, let them.
  • Keep in touch with family and friends.
  • Talk about the person who has died.
  • Write about how you feel - in a book or as a poem. Allow yourself to cry.
  • Make an album that records your memories.
  • Go at your own pace - there is no rigid timetable to follow.
  • Check your progress periodically. Are the down times less frequent or less intense than they were originally?
  • Light a candle.
  • Do what feels right for you, not what other people say you "should".
  • Avoid making hasty decisions, especially major ones like moving house.
  • Write a letter to the person who has died and read it out loud.
  • Have a plan for each day. One task at a time.
  • Go through photos with family and friends.
  • Don't expect too much and don't be too hard on yourself.
  • Continue to talk to the dead person.
  • Plant a tree.
  • Do something nice for yourself each day :
    : : Listen to music :: Ring a friend :: Have a rest :: Soak in a bath.
  • Develop a hobby.
  • Plan ahead and decide how you want to spend anniversaries, weekends, holidays.
  • Try to maintain your regular routine.
  • Share your experiences with others: Talk to a friend :: Join a support group.
  • Go to a counsellor or someone who is a trained listener.
  • Take care that you eat well and are getting adequate sleep.
  • Go for a walk or a visit to the gym. Exercise is important for your health and is also a good way to work off tensions.
  • Seek accurate information about grief and grieving. Knowing what to expect means you will be less stressed.
  • Begin to deliberately let go of and say goodbye to the loved one who has died.
  • Recall and acknowledge the high points, the happy memories from the past. Acknowledge also the not-so-happy and difficult memories.