Cruse Bereavement Care Croydon - Free counselling, bereavement support in the London borough of Croydon(24-hour answerphone) 020 8916 0855

Helping yourself to grieve

Allow yourself time to grieve. This is a lengthy process that will not be resolved in a matter of weeks or months.


Take your own feelings seriously.
Accidents are more common after severe loss.
When someone offers to help you with something, let them.
Keep in touch with family and friends.
Do drive more carefully and be more careful around the home.
Talk about the person who has died.
Write about how you feel - in a book or as a poem. Allow yourself to cry.
Make an album that records your memories.
Go at your own pace - there is no rigid timetable to follow.
Check your progress periodically. Are the down times less frequent or less intense than they were originally?

Light a candle. Do what feels right for you, not what other people say you "should". Avoid making hasty decisions, especially major ones like moving house.
Write a letter to the person who has died and read it out loud.
Have a plan for each day. One task at a time.
Go through photos with family and friends.

Don't expect too much and don't be too hard on yourself.
Continue to talk to the dead person.
Plant a tree.
Do something nice for yourself each day :
: : Listen to music :: Ring a friend :: Have a rest :: Soak in a bath
Develop a hobby
Plan ahead and decide how you want to spend anniversaries, weekends, holidays.
Try to maintain your regular routine.

Share your experiences with others: Talk to a friend :: Join a support group
Go to a counsellor or someone who is a trained listener.
Take care that you eat well and are getting adequate sleep.
Go for a walk or a round of golf. Exercise is important for your health and is also a good way to work off tensions.

Seek accurate information about grief and grieving. Knowing what to expect means you will be less stressed.
Begin to deliberately let go of and say goodbye to the loved one who has died.
Recall and acknowledge the high points, the happy memories from the past. Acknowledge also the not-so-happy and difficult memories.

Beware of pills and alcohol. They provide only temporary relief from the pain and loneliness that is grief.
Go to your favourite place where you can be alone sometimes. Find an isolated spot and scream!

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